It is after 11:00 PM. I have had a very full day and just got out of a seminar. In order to complete my writing agreement before midnight, I am sitting in a parking lot at a Taco Bell, composing this post on my phone. I have 15 minutes to complete my agreement for the day and was struggling to come up with an idea for a quick post after a long day. It then occurred to me that when I am determined to keep my word, I can find a way to do just about anything. So I will complete this post and then drive home… After I have a taco or two.
If it looks good, leave it.
If it sounds good, save it.
If it feels good, forge it.
Some days it is very easy to get my blog post done. Everything goes as planned. I’m not too busy. The stars are aligned just right. I am feeling creative and the words just flow into the text box.
Other days it seems nothing plays out the way I imagined it would. I have way too many things on my plate. My horoscope hints of impending doom. My cursor blinks, like the patting of a foot, awaiting the formulation of a thought.
Although today isn’t quite the latter scenario, it certainly isn’t the former either. But the bottom line is that I have made a commitment to myself. And one of the things I am working on is honoring my word. So tonight, at the end of a busy day, without a lot to say, I am writing this post… not because I have some wisdom to impart or because something bad will happen if I don’t, but because I said I would.
I belong to a ladies’ group that gets together once a month for dinner and to share what is going on in our lives. I know it sounds like the scenario from a “chick flick.” And honestly, I don’t even like those types of movies and have seen very few of them. In real life, however, this group has been very important in my growth.
The regular women in this group range in age from their thirties to late seventies. My daughter occasionally attends and she is only in her early twenties. These women are from all walks of life, occupations, and religious backgrounds. The thing we have in common is that we have a desire to work on ourselves.
The group has been getting together for about fifteen years. I have personally been a part of the group for about eight years. In those eight years, I have seen women get married, divorced, have babies, get new jobs, quit jobs, start their own businesses, and sadly pass from this life.
Since I have been in the group, I have been divorced, remarried, taken college courses, had kids drop out of school and kids graduate (some almost… see yesterday’s post). I have changed congregations, changed jobs, started several businesses, began singing in public, lost and gained weight, survived a traumatic injury, and began blogging.
I say all of this to say that the ladies in this group have shared their lives with each other in a deep and meaningful way. We have dinner at a restaurant or at one of the members’ homes. When we are finished we each take a turn sharing what is going on with us. It is interesting how we can be so different and yet have so much to share. Ultimately, we find that we are not so different after all.
So as I wind this up, I am going to go finish getting ready to go have dinner at a Japanese steakhouse (only veggies for me, since I am still on the Daniel Fast), and share with the ladies who know most everything about me and love me anyway. We will laugh together, console each other, and simply enjoy each other’s company. What a great way to end the week!
I attended service at the spiritual center to which I belong this morning. Then we celebrated my sister’s 31st birthday with lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I then spent some time with my two oldest children, their spouses, and my granddaughter. Beyond that, I have been writing the better part of the day, either in my head or on the keyboard. So this is the extent of my post today: Happy Birthday, Suzanne!
(Incidentally, I am inspired to write about my family and how we celebrate every chance we get… and how I learned that my grandfather was always hoping someone would marry so there would be a party and he could dance… but I’m too tired… perhaps later this week.) The photo is completely unrelated, but I thought it would complement my sister’s birthday wish. Suzanne, I hope you got some rest this cloudy afternoon.
I just spent a significant amount of time drafting a post about an incident that occurred yesterday. I had been reading another blogger’s tips and was inspired to write this post rather than “saving it for later.” Because I had forgotten to create a password for the two-step authentication security setting on my WordPress app on my phone, I hit “save draft,” and “poof!” it was gone. I tried hitting the back arrow and hoped it would have saved the draft somewhere. No such luck. Well, it is nearly 11:00 PM on Easter Sunday. I have iPhoneography tomorrow (3rd Monday of the month is black-and-white… my favorite), so I will not be rewriting the post until Tuesday. In the meantime I will be working on the two-step authentication issue. Aaarrrggghhh!!!
Those of you who read my blog on a regular basis will notice the drastic change in my theme. As part of the current blog challenge in which I am participating, I was encouraged to change my blog’s look.
My favorite color (or non-color, I should say) is black. Most of my wardrobe is black (including my motorcycle gear). Whenever I am given a choice of colors in anything, I choose black. It is introspective, sleek, and classic. So for me to go from a mostly black blog to this bright, somewhat color-spattered theme is somewhat unsettling.
However, in the spirit of personal growth, I am going to leave this new theme in place for a few days to see if I can get used to it. If not, I can always go back to what is safe. Just out of curiosity, let me know what you think of the new look.
I guess I am catching up from an emotional weekend, as I scraped myself out of bed at 10:00 this morning. I managed to get caught up on some email and sort of cook dinner (tuna salad sandwiches and soup). I helped my son with homework and here I am, at the end of the day, keeping my blogging commitment. I still haven’t completely unpacked my suitcase, but I hope to get it done before bed. Oh, and I need to take a shower… if I want to sleep in bed tonight.
Incidentally, I am taking part in a blogging challenge (which began today) to continue growing and improving my blog. I said I was not going to share my goals publicly, but I am going to be getting those goals written down for myself tonight. So you will hopefully notice some improvements in the next couple of weeks. For tonight, I am simply keeping my commitment to write.
I have been reading a book that explores, among other things, the concept of time. Incidentally, I am also preparing to embark on a journey that I know will distort time. My mother and I will be traveling to Colorado to attend her father’s memorial service.
Something I have noticed is that death seems to slow time for those who suffer loss. Maybe it’s because we become more aware in the days following the death of a loved one, and maybe it’s because we simply slow down. Either way, I have noticed that the time immediately following a loss or tragedy seems to become a precious capsule to be cherished.
I remember the time surrounding a life threatening surgery my Dad underwent several years ago. The trip to Florida, the night preceding the surgery, and the moments just before he was wheeled into surgery (in particular) are etched into my brain. The weeks, days, and months just before my father’s death are even more clear in my mind. And I suspect this weekend will become burned into my memory just as clearly.
I was not close to my grandfather, but my relationship with my mother will make this weekend one of those time-bent weekends. We will be spending hours in airports and on an airplane together. Then we will spend a weekend focused on the life and death of the primary man in my mother’s life. Time will slow and, at times, stand still.
I know these moments frozen in time will become a pat of our life stories. So I am ready. I am ready to take in the stories, feel the agony of loss and the joy of reminiscence, and enjoy the time with my mother. And I am grateful that time bends to make these times stand out in our memories.
As the day comes to a close,
I try to come up with some poetry or prose.
Trying to think of something witty,
but the words just aren’t there… it’s such a pity.
So I guess I’ll retire for the night…
get some much needed rest for this writer’s plight.
And tomorrow I will try again,
to come up with something interesting to pen.