I’m Baa… aack!

It’s funny how quickly things can change.  August 21st I wrote my last blog post until tonight.  I had only missed a few days of posting in 8 months and then, one day, I stopped.

I don’t quite know why. I just did.

So here it is, more than 2 months later, and I begin… again.

A lot has happened since my last post, and I will get to all of it soon enough.  I have been doing a lot of writing, although it hasn’t been here.  I am writing a Newsletter, doing some copy writing, and am embarking on a creative writing endeavor as well.  In addition, I am journaling (partly for a book study I am leading, and partly as a component of my PTSD treatment).

I am not going back to my hard-core commitment to post every day, simply because I am doing so much writing.  Ironically, I may just become habituated to daily posting anyway.  I do miss the phoneography challenge in which I participated on Mondays, as well as my Wisdom Wednesday quotes.  So, who knows…?  I just know that I have missed my diary-gone-public.

And I’m baa… aack!

Not Too Shabby

Sometime today it dawned on me that I had broken my agreement to post every day this year. I did not post yesterday and didn’t even think about it. I thought this was strange since my blogging has become so habitual.

At first I was angry with myself for breaking my agreement. Then I remembered, I keep agreements to expand myself not to punish myself. Then I counted to see how many days in a row I had posted. I actually started a couple of days before the new year began, so I had a total of 213 posts in a row.

So the conversation has been going back and forth in my head periodically throughout the day.

“I can’t believe I didn’t even think about it!”

“It’s not the end of the world.”

“No matter what I do now, I can’t complete the agreement to post every day this year.”

“It’s not about perfection. It’s about pushing yourself.”

Then, as I observe the voices in my head, I laugh at how funny it all is. Me, arguing with myself… and all over something that is already done.

So now I am recommitting to my agreement to post every day for the rest of the year, accepting my imperfect record, and eager to see if I can complete the last 5 months of this year without missing a day. (If I was really interested in punishing myself, I would start all over again. Not happening!)

I am just going to keep reminding myself, 213 posts in a row… not too shabby.

Out of Hiding

My counselor gave me a journaling assignment today.  She asked me if I had ever journaled and I told her that I write every day.  Although it isn’t technically a journal, this blog often serves the same purpose.  It lets me get my thoughts out of my head where I can then look at them from another perspective.  

As I was driving home, I thought about all the writing I have been doing since I made my writing agreement for this year.  I committed to beginning a larger writing project as a result of a class I am taking at my church.  I am also doing some copywriting and have been asked to do some guest blogging.  

I have always loved writing and have done lots of it over the years.  The primary difference in the writing I did back then and the writing I am doing now, is that much of the writing I am doing now is out there for the world to see.  I would not let others read my writing even up until this year.  

On one hand, writing publicly is intimidating.  On the other hand, it is very freeing.  In a way, I feel like I have come out of hiding.  

Now I must go begin an outline that I committed to draft, work on my journal entry, and begin drafting a blog post for another site… and I’m happy about this!     

Keeping My Word in a Taco Bell Parking Lot

It is after 11:00 PM.  I have had a very full day and just got out of a seminar.  In order to complete my writing agreement before midnight, I am sitting in a parking lot at a Taco Bell, composing this post on my phone.  I have 15 minutes to complete my agreement for the day and was struggling to come up with an idea for a quick post after a long day.  It then occurred to me that when I am determined to keep my word, I can find a way to do just about anything.  So I will complete this post and then drive home… After I have a taco or two.

Because I Said I Would

Some days it is very easy to get my blog post done.  Everything goes as planned.  I’m not too busy.  The stars are aligned just right.  I am feeling creative and the words just flow into the text box.

Other days it seems nothing plays out the way I imagined it would.  I have way too many things on my plate.  My horoscope hints of impending doom.  My cursor blinks, like the patting of a foot, awaiting the formulation of a thought.

Although today isn’t quite the latter scenario, it certainly isn’t the former either.  But the bottom line is that I have made a commitment to myself.  And one of the things I am working on is honoring my word.  So tonight, at the end of a busy day, without a lot to say, I am writing this post… not because I have some wisdom to impart or because something bad will happen if I don’t, but because I said I would.

 

Happy Birthday, Suzanne!

I attended service at the spiritual center to which I belong this morning.  Then we celebrated my sister’s 31st birthday with lunch at a Mexican restaurant.  I then spent some time with my two oldest children, their spouses, and my granddaughter.  Beyond that, I have been writing the better part of the day, either in my head or on the keyboard.  So this is the extent of my post today:  Happy Birthday, Suzanne!  

(Incidentally, I am inspired to write about my family and how we celebrate every chance we get… and how I learned that my grandfather was always hoping someone would marry so there would be a party and he could dance… but I’m too tired… perhaps later this week.)  The photo is completely unrelated, but I thought it would complement my sister’s birthday wish.  Suzanne, I hope you got some rest this cloudy afternoon.

My oldest son brought me this Easter lily last Sunday.

My oldest son brought me this Easter lily last Sunday.

 

Frustrated!

I just spent a significant amount of time drafting a post about an incident that occurred yesterday.  I had been reading another blogger’s tips and was inspired to write this post rather than “saving it for later.”  Because I had forgotten to create a password for the two-step authentication security setting on my WordPress app on my phone, I hit “save draft,” and “poof!” it was gone.  I tried hitting the back arrow and hoped it would have saved the draft somewhere.  No such luck.  Well, it is nearly 11:00 PM on Easter Sunday.  I have iPhoneography tomorrow (3rd Monday of the month is black-and-white… my favorite), so I will not be rewriting the post until Tuesday.  In the meantime I will be working on the two-step authentication issue.  Aaarrrggghhh!!!

Simply Keeping My Commitment

I guess I am catching up from an emotional weekend, as I scraped myself out of bed at 10:00 this morning.  I managed to get caught up on some email and sort of cook dinner (tuna salad sandwiches and soup).  I helped my son with homework and here I am, at the end of the day, keeping my blogging commitment.  I still haven’t completely unpacked my suitcase, but I hope to get it done before bed.  Oh, and I need to take a shower… if I want to sleep in bed tonight.

Incidentally, I am taking part in a blogging challenge (which began today) to continue growing and improving my blog.  I said I was not going to share my goals publicly, but I am going to be getting those goals written down for myself tonight.  So you will hopefully notice some improvements in the next couple of weeks.  For tonight, I am simply keeping my commitment to write.

 

 

 

 

Writer’s Plight

As the day comes to a close,

I try to come up with some poetry or prose.

Trying to think of something witty,

but the words just aren’t there… it’s such a pity.

So I guess I’ll retire for the night…

get some much needed rest for this writer’s plight.

And tomorrow I will try again,

to come up with something interesting to pen.