Last night my ex-husband (#2) called me and asked if I was still into interpreting dreams. I have always had an interest in dreams and keep books on the subject, referring to them when I can’t figure out what a particular dream means. I told him that I was and he proceeded to tell me about a dream he had recently. It bothered him enough to ask me about it, so I listened and helped him sort out the details. I was a little surprised at how open he was to my thoughts about his dream, since it had a lot to do with being unhappy with where he is today, having made lots of bad choices along his path. I was kind and helped him see that the dream as a good thing since it could drive him make some positive changes.
This post isn’t really about that incident.
This evening, while visiting my grown children, their father (ex-husband #1) asked me if I would prepare his tax return for him. I thought this was quite funny on the heels of my “dream interpretation” for ex #2 the night before. When my ex was out of earshot, I told my daughter-in-law about the back-to-back requests. She laughed and said that I must be significant in their lives. I thought about this and was reminded to be grateful for the relationships I have with my exes. They each have their issues and both owe me a significant amount of money (one for children’s medical bills, the other child support). I have chosen to let the courts do what they do, and maintain kind relationships with the fathers of my children. This is not to say that I am okay with the things they do. I simply have chosen to be accepting of who they are.
This post is really about gratitude.
It is easy to be grateful when there is such a sharp contrast between the relationships I have with my exes and the relationship my current husband (the last one… I got it right this time) has with his ex-wife. Their relationship consists of quoting from their divorce decree and splitting hairs over every little expense the kids incur. It is hard enough being divorced parents without the animosity, and much worse with it.
Today I am grateful for peace in what could be a difficult relationship.