Hurdles

Just like every year since I can remember, I have spent the last few days of December reflecting on the year and thinking about the coming one.  But this year is a little different because I was hit with the reality that this year could very well have been my last.

I lost my dad in 2010, and as much as I loved him, that was different than being faced with my own mortality.   Although I know I will write more about my accident in the coming days, today I want to focus on the gratitude I have for life.  When I awake each morning, I am thankful for another day.  As cliche as it might sound, it’s true.  Yes, I was appreciative before now, but I had never experienced how fragile life really is until this year.  I realize I only delayed the inevitable.  The gift in all of this is that life is sweeter.

Looking over the past year, I have lots for which to be thankful.  My first grandchild was born.  Her father and mother married (my oldest son and the baby’s mother).  My step-father beat death a few times.  One of those times he says he actually died.  Being there with him, I don’t doubt what he says is true.  And I survived a traumatic accident.

2014 is a new beginning, as are all years.  But I am especially excited about the coming year, because there was a moment when I thought I might not have a 2014.  I was faced with the reality that I may never get to jump the hurdles I have put in my own way.  I am no longer willing to not do things because I feel anxious or inadequate.  I may never get another chance.  I’ve known this on an intellectual level, but I now I have had an experience that has driven the concept home.

So, as I watch the ball drop and toast in the new year with a glass of champagne, hugs and kisses from my husband and son, and text messages from my grown children and other family members and friends, I will remember that each moment is a gift.  And as I begin carrying out my new year’s resolutions tomorrow, I will do it joyfully.  After all, my whole purpose in making them is to become closer to my ideal self… to become more of who I really am.


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