PTSD and Depression

I have avoided publishing this post for many reasons, but I have decided to do it now because I simply have to get it off my chest.  Since my accident back in November, I have struggled with Acute Anxiety Disorder, nightmares, and was recently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and depression.  

Of course, this is not who I am, but it has certainly touched everything in my life.   I have to honestly admit that I was judgmental of the people in a trauma class I took.  Many of them had been injured many years ago and are still struggling with the aftermath.  Now that I have experienced a few setbacks, I understand.  

PTSD symptoms can rear their ugly heads when you least expect it.  My psychiatrist explained that the disorder improves in a saw tooth fashion — you make some improvement, then have a setback, followed by more improvement.  The hope is that you are always moving a little farther ahead.  

As I write this post, I am in the middle of a setback.  I am unable to sleep well or eat much.  Because I cannot sleep, I am exhausted during the day and often have to lie down — sometimes for hours.  I have a constant feeling of general uneasiness, like butterflies in my stomach.  Sometimes I have tremors.  Things that I have to deal with emotionally are exponentially harder to handle.  I cry a lot, often at inopportune times.  Sometimes, I am gripped by fear in irrational ways.  What keeps me going, is the support I have had from loved ones and knowing that if I wait out the storm, it always gets better.    

Incidentally, blogging has been therapeutic for me.  Being able to talk about what I am going through has aided my recovery.  I was surprised when I posted The Dark Side, what a positive response I got.  I realized it was because telling the truth, instead of pretending everything is okay, often connects people who have had similar experiences and benefits us both.  I know that most of my future posts will generally be more positive than this one, and I needed to tell my truth.  If you have any experiences you’d like to share, I’d like to hear them.      

 

    


4 thoughts on “PTSD and Depression

  1. This is very true. We all feel like we have to put a brave face on everything because thats how we are conditioned in the society we live – smile and suck it up! Yet how can people form real connections and help one another if we are always pretending we are A ok?
    Yet it takes bravery and courage to share the truth and how we are really feeling, because its scary as hell, and the last thing anyone wants is too feel rejected when they bare their soul. Crazy thing is, the majority of the time, as you noticed, when you share your truth response is always positive.
    The storm will pass, it always does.
    take care 🙂 All emotions are part and parcel of the human condition and nothing to be ashamed of. xx

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