PTSD and Depression

I have avoided publishing this post for many reasons, but I have decided to do it now because I simply have to get it off my chest.  Since my accident back in November, I have struggled with Acute Anxiety Disorder, nightmares, and was recently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and depression.  

Of course, this is not who I am, but it has certainly touched everything in my life.   I have to honestly admit that I was judgmental of the people in a trauma class I took.  Many of them had been injured many years ago and are still struggling with the aftermath.  Now that I have experienced a few setbacks, I understand.  

PTSD symptoms can rear their ugly heads when you least expect it.  My psychiatrist explained that the disorder improves in a saw tooth fashion — you make some improvement, then have a setback, followed by more improvement.  The hope is that you are always moving a little farther ahead.  

As I write this post, I am in the middle of a setback.  I am unable to sleep well or eat much.  Because I cannot sleep, I am exhausted during the day and often have to lie down — sometimes for hours.  I have a constant feeling of general uneasiness, like butterflies in my stomach.  Sometimes I have tremors.  Things that I have to deal with emotionally are exponentially harder to handle.  I cry a lot, often at inopportune times.  Sometimes, I am gripped by fear in irrational ways.  What keeps me going, is the support I have had from loved ones and knowing that if I wait out the storm, it always gets better.    

Incidentally, blogging has been therapeutic for me.  Being able to talk about what I am going through has aided my recovery.  I was surprised when I posted The Dark Side, what a positive response I got.  I realized it was because telling the truth, instead of pretending everything is okay, often connects people who have had similar experiences and benefits us both.  I know that most of my future posts will generally be more positive than this one, and I needed to tell my truth.  If you have any experiences you’d like to share, I’d like to hear them.      

 

    

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